You hear it now and then, this phrase. Sometimes in the car park, or over by the shoe cleaner. Or maybe in the locker room, or while leaning on the bar, gasping for something to take the edge of your nerves. One player asks another “how’d you get on?”; the golfing equivalent of “how are you?”
A common courtesy, of course, and I’d like to think that most of the time, we hope in asking this that the answer is positive; that they’ve enjoyed their time on the links, and maybe played ok. But in the same way as no one goes actively looking for a full and detailed outline of another person’s latest hip operation, few of us are really up for a blow by blow account of the full eighteen, complete with those devilish bounces and a minor debate over a penalty drop. But sometimes they’ll need to offload, so you ask the question anyway, with a faint degree of hesitation.
And when, instead of settling in to pretend to listen to another comprehensive review of what appears to have been several hours of more or less constant misery, our well-meaning enquiry prompts a simple reply of “I left a few out there”, we breath a sigh of relief. We’ve avoided becoming an involuntary therapist for now, and can spend that newly harvested time quietly licking our own sporting wounds rather than suffering a lengthy narrative of someone else’s.
We all experience that feeling, too, of knowing there were a few sloppy shots that we’d like to try again, to claim a retrospective Mulligan for. Unless you’re the ghost of Kim Jong-Il, golf does this to you. Every round we’ve ever played, and every one we’ll ever play, will include at least a few silly mistakes, and our golfing days are no different from the rest of our lives, strewn with “if’s” and “but’s”. But (see!) I am trying hard to not grieve for the few I lost out there on the course, and instead seek to remember as clearly the ones I found - where the drive somehow went exactly where I wanted it to, or the ball miraculously bounced away from that dreadful bunker, not into it like it normally does.
They’re just as important, I think, and by being gracious about the mysterious process by which these small mercies arise, it helps me keep a balanced view in regard to the inevitable blows that a course will dish out. Good and bad, lucky and not, yin and yang. It’s all part of the game, and again, if you can bear with me as I drift back into “real life” rather than the often more engaging realm of golf, it is sometimes in moments of adversity that we find the most powerful lessons.
So, I will try my best to remember all of what happened out there today, with equanimity and fondness. For the wild slice off the fourteenth tee counted just the same as the ripped drive down the seventh, and the painful three putt on the sixteenth - where the ball showed an inexplicable and obstinate defiance of the laws of gravity - was cancelled out by a comedic fifty-footer a hole later that only decided to take the crucial break in the final few rolls, its very last wobble toppling it into the hole to a howl of disgust from the newly-affronted oppo.
“I left a few out there”, of course I did. We all do, each and every time. But I’m not going to let that diminish, for even a moment, the deliciously elusive and addictive nature of this game of golf. For three hours, we traded shots and shanks, pain and laughter. Fun and friendship. We made some good memories out there, together.
Life rolls on, and one day in the hopefully distant future we’ll golf no more, so I’m ok with the few I left out there - they’ll help motivate me to get back on the tee, and soon.
The persistent stench of failure makes the sweet smell of success so very special when it manifests, and let’s not forget the wise words of an incoming Captain’s speech I once heard - “by and large, every shot makes someone happy”.
So go on, leave a few behind. You can pick them up later.
Thank you for reading this, and if you are subscribed, or have helped spread the word about these musings via email or social media, I am hugely grateful.
I have been humbled by the kind feedback and an already loyal “following”. As long as people seem to want to read this stuff, I’ll keep knocking them out! So please share, give feedback if you wish, and encourage others to subscribe!
You can find a link to some other pieces here, so check out the older ones, and please also consider following my twitter feed here. Thank you, sincerely! Happy golfing…
Left a load out there, golf the game of life. Life, like golf, never goes according to plan. Indeed, as John Lennon said. The moment you have a plan, life gets in the way. Golf once, described by ‘Some’ golfing great, as series of miss fortunes, miss hits, missed puts and unbelievable lucky breaks that some how amount to a round. Left so many out there, never left the feeling of absolute joy of golf. Till the next ‘good walk spoiled’ 👍 Thanks Richard keep writing …